The age-old question of “Why won’t he commit” has no single answer. Since every guy is different (although they all seem to be cut from the same cloth at times), it’s hard to generalize about the reasons why he’s so wary of making a commitment to you.
If you two seem very happy together, and you’re puzzled as to why he won’t take the plunge, it’s possible that he simply doesn’t want to change the dynamic of your relationship by introducing cohabitation (living together) or marriage into the mix.
His lack of commitment doesn’t necessarily mean there is ANYTHING wrong with YOU
Times have changed, and modern morality doesn’t require men to marry women (or even to move in with them) when a relationship becomes serious. In the Victorian Age, men of good breeding were required to woo women chastely and then to marry them at the first sign of intimacy. To lead a woman on and then fail to propose was considered caddish behavior.
In some ways, these old-fashioned rules and regulations were in place to protect women from the natural inclinations of the male species, who are not always known for their monogamy and their love of marriage.
Read: Breaking the Man Code
Today, women are liberated, and the Western world has very relaxed views of men and women’s responsibilities with regard to getting married or cohabiting. Sometimes, getting a man to take a more Victorian view of your relationship may feel like a real challenge. These days, fewer couples are marrying, and it’s also been proven that men and women who live together have lower odds of tying the knot.
The pace and morality of modern life often works against women, as they frequently desire marriage when their men do not. In a nutshell, there is no one enforcing romantic etiquette anymore. It’s safe to say it’s a little bit of a jungle out there…
What DOES it take for a man to commit to YOU?
What most women don’t realize is men have a lot of fears when it comes to commitment. By knowing these fears you will be able to address them and put your man’s mind at ease. Here are three more reasons your man won’t commit to you.
Reason #1 – He Thinks Once You Get Married You Will Try to Change Him
You hear it all the time, men who haven’t had successful marriages will say once he got married she tried to change him. And while this usually isn’t true, it is a real concern for most men. If he thinks you don’t accept him for who he is, he will be very reluctant to take that next step with you. He doesn’t want to have to change an essential part of who he is just to please you.
So your job is to assure him you reassure him you love him just the way he is; flaws and all. Show him you have no desire to change him. This will make him feel more comfortable with taking the next step with you.
Reason #2 – He Feels Like You Only Want Him for His Money
Just like a woman can feel like a piece of meat to a man, a man can feel like a piece of meat to a woman. Some men feel like you only want them for what they can do for you, and like you are only interested in having him around because you want a man on your arm when you go out with your friends or because you want him to spend money on you.
A man wants to know you love him no matter what he has. He wants to know you will be in his corner when he’s up and when he’s down. So make it known you are there for him and not what he can do for you.
Reason #3 – He Feels You May Become Too Dependent
When you fall in love it’s very normal to want to spend all of your waking moments with your sweetie pie. You will start neglecting your friends and family to be with each other. This is not always a good thing. Everyone needs to have their own life outside of each other. You should still spend time with your friends without him.
When a man feels he will have to spend all of his time with you it makes him feel trapped. You have to show him you have a life outside of him. And in order to do that you have to still go out with your friends and do other activities that don’t involve him.