It can be a very emotional time when you’re involved in what you feel is a committed relationship with a mutual long-term goal of marriage – and he doesn’t.
Let’s talk about that.. what you need to do. The things you can do – and what you should NOT do.
First step is to try and figure out if he’s just not ready to get engaged NOW or if he simply isn’t the marrying type.
It is quite possible that he’s not ready right NOW, but will be down the road.
Also, I have to admit that some guys can have a real problem with engagement when they don’t feel it’s their idea or they feel pressured into it.
Guys like to have the good ideas 😉
Now, if you look deep at your relationship and at your guy, is it possible that he never wants to get married? Has he actually said that TO you or around you? If he has said that he doesn’t plan to ever get married, then he assumes you KNOW that about him. By demanding or even hinting at getting engaged and eventually married, you’re most likely putting pressure on him and making him feel as if you don’t care what his plans are – all that matters is how YOU feel.
Will giving an ultimatum work? As we talked about in this article – an ultimatum may not be the best idea in this situation. An ultimatum should be a last ditch effort and you have to MEAN and DO what you say.
If you say, “We get engaged by the time I’m 20 or else I’m leaving!” – then you need to be prepared to leave.
Ultimatums are risky business and should not be used as a weapon.
There are ways you can help him want to get married – and get married to YOU – and actually be happy about it (without manipulating him).