We’ve always known that men are wired differently. Women love the pep talk; men don’t – so don’t expect the guy you are currently seeing to tell you what went down with him and his ex-girlfriend. Some people say that if you want somebody to open up, why not ask them questions?
See, it doesn’t work like that in a man’s world. There are certain things you have to follow to learn how to get a man to open up.
1.) Know what questions to ask and what buttons to press. It sounds simple but for some reason, women tend to mess this up all the time. We get too excited in getting to know the person that we ask “10th date” questions on the first date. Why can you not be content in asking him about his job or how many siblings he has or where he went to college.
Don’t be such in a rush to gather tons of personal information about him.
My rule of thumb has always been (when it comes to past relationships, plans for the future, etc.) unless a man goes into that direction, do not go there. In other words, wait for the man to start asking those questions. Be patient, he will open up once he lets you in completely.
2.) Believe it or not, men are also afraid of rejection and the last thing they want is for us, women to be judgmental and critical of them. They have that fear that if they open up, they are going to get laughed at or we won’t find them as sexy or masculine anymore. It’s very critical for a woman to know that a man’s ego is more fragile than hers and this is especially true when a man is in a relationship.
When a guy is in an intimate relationship, he tends to be more vulnerable because he is letting his guards down. Make your partner feel that you are not going to judge him or look at him any differently once he opens up to you. If you make him feel otherwise, don’t expect him to talk.
your man to say what’s on his mind freely. Learn how to listen and make sure he knows that you are there for him no matter what.
Let Him Know It’s SAFE To Open Up To You
One very important thing on how to get a man to open up is to realize that men need to establish an emotional connection before they open up. Just be patient and stop bombarding him with crazy questions!
Also, once he finally opens up, try your very best not to blurt out your point of view with something like “OMG you did that?” or “That is so wrong”. If you are going to be all judgmental, don’t expect your man to ever talk about his past or fears.
3.) Take the initiative and open up first. A relationship is a two-way street which means that you can’t really expect for your partner to open up if you haven’t done it yourself. Show your man that you have as much trust in him as he has in you. Every person has a “can of worms”. We all have our own share of fears, problems and a not-so-good past.
A lot of men fear that if they share too much of the past they are not so proud of, women would walk away. Make him man feel that this is not the case and that you care about him enough for you to understand and accept him with whatever indiscretions he did a long time ago. Once he starts talking, listen and say something encouraging like “that’s all in the past now” or “that’s not as bad as it sounds”.
(who better knows about men than a man, right?)